16 November 2008:

I saw this last night when Little "Alvin" came in with her dad. "Alvin" isn't her real name but she was a chipmunk for Halloween and it stuck. She is tiny with a red cap - four years old. She wears glasses and a hearing aid and one shoe is built up about 4 inches.

Her dad called out, "She's ready to come here tonight" and she charged ahead up the stairs. She's as strong as a tiny ox and I held her while she played on the stair steppers, making them go up and down.

She's one of the "popular kids" and followed a baby around for a while to keep the baby safe. Then she and Keisha - our wonderful Lincoln Southeast High volunteer did a puzzle and they played Barbie's and Barbie Castle dressing the Barbie's in their ball gowns and taking them on carriage rides with pink and white horses.

When dad come up she charged into his arms with delight and he twirled her around, then he picked up the baby too and twirled them both. "Alvin" is smart as a whip and makes astute observations. We are honored by her presence. Keisha had a smile that went all through her.

Dad's don't like to admit why they use alcohol and drugs. It isn't "manly" to admit to being brokenhearted. But that is what they are. Drugs and alcohol only work on the brokenhearted. When the lights go out on a stellar sports career, or a dad dies or, or he is fired and can't give his family what he wants to or he is a doctor and his patients die or a wife is unfaithful or his girl friend "dumps him" or a baby is born more vulnerable than others. Antlers is a place where men can cry.

I had a broken hearted dad. He lost his closest friends in the war. He was raised with a little disabled cousin. His dad was brain injured and his little boy was born sick. Even though he was honored with many awards in his lifetime - a silver star for valor - a Pulitzer prize for brilliance - A service to mankind for heart - I asked him which award meant the most to him. He said he would think about his answer and after he thought about it, he said that the thing that was the most important was that he stayed married to my mother and got to work side by side with his two children and that and he stayed sober.

Sometimes it's hard to see past the bravado and defenses that men can display, but when they get through it, the brokenheartedness can heal and Broken hearts become strong. The word courage means to have heart. My dad always said to “Keep the Faith.” He said that it is not always necessary that we be proven right, but it is always necessary that we have courage. It takes courage to live life. Courage to watch a baby die, courage to watch a wife get old, courage to send a son or grandson off to war and courage to face a day alone. Men of courage always need faith. Antlers is a place where men find courage.

Paige Namuth

2501 South Street

Lincoln, NE 68502

1-402-434-3965

1-800-758-0356

www.PartnersInRecovery.info

www.AntlersCenter.info